My Selkirk, 2.0. The Outdoor Series

Yes, I'm back home for a visit, and I thought I'd do another photo essay of my town. Selkirk gets kind of a bad rap. I've heard it referred to as a "Scuzz Town". Well, every town has its less than perfect qualities, and even if Selkirk is a little rough around the edges, I love it, in all its pot holed, red-necked, Crime Stopper footage glory.

Frosty Chuck

8 am. Where is everyone?

look up. waaaaaay up.

Time for a new sign, methinks.

I used to go down this back lane when I'd go over to Pam  Stewart's house to play Jello Tree Farm. I tried to get  a picture our our old backyard, mom, but there was some guy peeing up against our old garage. I didn't like to disturb him.

Important Selkirk Staple.

Sidewalk. Super treacherous.

The street where I lived

Rosser Ave

the other street where I lived.

frosty trash

I took a picture of this two years ago. It's still the same.

Manitoba Ave

Tres charmant. I will be going there this visit.

ubiquitous mucky snow hill in parking lot

Selkirk Bridge

I've never been inside.

I'm thinking of doing a photo essay of all the discarded beverage containers along the main street  here in Selkirk, but I don't think there's enough space in the internet to accommodate it.

No parking here, bitch. Just for emphasis.

You can't really tell, but that's a kid shovelling snow wearing shorts. It's -12 Celcius. Only in Manitoba!

A puddle or a massive pothole? Only one way to find out.

Electric Avenue

Frost

This house stands out and is all sunny and cheerful on a cold grey day. Yellow house don't care. Yellow house don't give a shit.

They tried.

Meh and Blah

For the past week I have been feeling out of sorts. Not depressed, but more like, Meh and Blah and Whatever. And it's starting to bug me.

I've tried all the usual things that perk me up.

  

And nothing. Not even the kitten in the top hat.

I blame it on March which is the longest month of the year, both emotionally and scientifically.

I am tired of snow boots. I look at my boots and I get mean.

Are you tired of winter? What are your sure fire ways to cure the glums?

Ryan's Marmalade

After much, much, much badgering, Ryan is not going to start up his blog, Crsipybits at this time.

This is bull#%$^ people! We need to come together to make it happen. I get mad when Ryan doesn't blog. Or when he doesn't do what I want him to do. Which is write his blog and come on vacations with my husband and me.

I know that probably sounds like my husband and I take Ryan on our vacations because he is our sex companion. He is not our sex companion.

Oo, you caught us by surprise!

But we can dream can't we?

Anyway. Fine, then, Ryan. If you're not going to re-boot Crispybits, I'm going to do it.

So ladies and gentemen, I give you:

                                                     

Hi I'm Ryan and I'm super excellent. I'm going to show you people how to make marmalade.

Today we're going to make my jam-tasctic marmalade that I got from a super fancy recipe book from a different country so don't even try to find it and If I give you the recipe, it will be a scanned photo that's hard to read, so just shut up and sit back and watch me do my magic because you can't touch this, you stupid, stupid person.


First you need to plan for 3 different types of marmalade and prep them so that they are at 3 different stages in the process of cooking. This makes it easy to show your friends how to make marmalade and makes me look more like a cooking show host. WHICH I AM!

Then you get your friends to cut up a bunch of oranges, put in some sugar and a splash of booze.

she is only fake laughing.

Boil the sweet heck out of them. The oranges. Not your friends.

Also boil  some jars.

Put the liquid gold into these jars.

Action shots show how dynamic is this process, when you are me.

Here, eat some of these snacks to keep you fortified so you can....

Clean up, you bitches!

I make the 17 month pregnant woman do the hard chores.

Here's some homemade soda bread that I veganized so that pernickety bitch-pants Reid can have some.

I am amazing. And dangerous.

And VOILA, you have marmalade.

The recipe is from Christine Ferber's, Mes Confitures. That's French for My Jams, in case you were wondering. This particular recipe takes 3 days to complete because why even BOTHER doing something that doesn't take that long. Jesus, I am amazing.

So, there you have it. Marmalade. I made it, you enjoy it, you worship me. It's just the way it is. And ever shall be.

Until next time,

Ryan.