New Year's Resolutions 2012

If I resolve to do something, that is a sure fire way for me to fail. I’ve found that being a little more coy and manipulative with myself is a much more effective means of getting me to do stuff.

Like, for example:

“Ellen, NO broccoli for a whole week. You’ve totally over done it with broccoli and you need to take a break from it, dammit. Eat some chocolate, for the love of Pete”.

I will then eat a lot of broccoli.

But this year is going to be different. I'm really really going to do everything I resolve to do.

My New Year’s For Sure For Sure Resolutions for 2012:

I will floss every single day.

This year I will read at least one page of a book a day. 

I love reading and I used to eat books up like chocolate covered broccoli. But by the time bedtime/book time rolls around, I’m usually too tired, or covered in dog fur to think about reading. So if I try to read just one page before day (and I've got the font on my Kindle so large that one page is about six words),  I’ll at least be making an attempt to use my brain for something besides figuring out ways to keep the sink clean. 

I will keep my sink clean. 

I will learn how to sew

I will learn to make jewelry.

I will make my own greeting cards

I will get a new bedroom set

I will visit my mom.

I will find a fruit that I like as much as persimmons (not likely)

I will write a novel

I will lose 10 pounds

I will get back into running

I will clean out the junk room (Some people have junk drawers. I have a junk room. I used to call it “the office”).

I will save a little bit of money each month to put aside for when the furnace eventually gives out.

I will think up new ways in which to worship Ryan.

I will do something with those cool beads from my grandmother’s broken necklace.

I will be more patient with Gracie. (not likely).

I will eat locally. Like, in my kitchen.

I will change certain things about Brian. Most specifically his fart to flower giving ratio.

I will take a course in something fun.

I will eat no more Vector. Ever.

I will buy art. And actually hang it on the walls.

I wonder how I’ll do.




 I think I’ll start by reading The Secret, because, apparently, if I read The Secret, I’ll be able to accomplish everything on my list PLUS I’ll make the air in a 10 foot radius around me glow with a pinkish gold-y light. And I’ll be able to fly. And read minds.

Happy New Year, Everyone!