Peter Pumpkinhead

One thing I really loved about being in the band was doing the videos. Not just being in them, but coming up with the concepts and story boards. I only did that for 4 or 5 of the videos, but it was so much fun and made me feel like I was contributing something meaningful, other than my famous hair flipping and being a foil to the bass-baritone of our lead singer. I think the guys in the band found video shoots tedious - which they sometimes were, what with the “hurry up and wait” thing that is all work in film and television.

But I loved the whole process. I was never shy about having my photo taken or being on camera (although I’ve always been iffy about tv, as it really does distort the way you look - or do I really look like that? Like a puffy and garish pantomime dame?). When the director said “Action”, I was ready to roll and have people look at ME ME ME ME ME!

So imagine my delight when I got to be FRONT and CENTRE in a video.

My narcissism grew 10 times that day.

It was 12 years ago, but I still remember a lot about shooting the Peter Pumpkinhead video. The song was featured (in a teeny tiny way) in the movie Dumb and Dumber, starring Jeff Daniels and Jim Carey. So, it was a major, major coup to score Jeff Daniels for the video. And he was totally into it. He was a fan of the band and went out of his way to make it all work. This was fresh after he’d been in the big movie “Speed” with Keanu Reeves and fresh faced newcomer, Sandra Bullock. So Jeff Daniels was, well, kind of a big deal.

I would like to take this opportunity, right now, to apologize, publicly, to Jeff Daniels.

Another thing about that video was that I thought because it was my BIG SHINY MOMENT, that I should get my face, like, you know, waxed, so that all the blonde and shimmery gorilla fuzz on my upper lip and chin wouldn’t be so masculinely obvious on camera.

So I went and got a wax.

And proceeded to break out with about 100 huge white heads and half that number of red welts.

I did this two days before and they had not gone away by the first day of shooting.

The poor makeup artist had to slather on the makeup with a trowel to cover my offensive pustule ridden face. it was really, really hideous.

That is why I appear to keep my hair in front of my face during the band shots, and why during the “angel” sequences my face is so washed out by lights. The director was trying to blind the viewer from seeing my ravaged complexion. Wise man.

The most fun moment of shooting the video was when the whole band switched instruments. It’s about a 2 second blip in the whole video. I was playing bass.

The least fun was the outdoor night time shoot with Jeff Daniels and me. It was the coldest night of the year - in January. Literally -25 Celcius, with a windchill that took it below that. And the video’s stylist, bless her heart, thought it would be super fun to dress me in little more than cheese cloth.

Yes. The outfit I am wearing, up on a platform, in the wind, in the freezing January snow, - is made only of cheese cloth. There’s no name for that kind of cold. Everyone was very nice and said “Aww, poor Ellen” and I got to run into a warmish trailer between shots while the extras had to freeze off their extremely poorly paid asses.

Well, the shoot finished and I survived, rubble-faced, frozen and still Koo-Koo for Keanu. And the song and video did very well for us, so I consider my sacrifices to have been much worth it.





I still get my face waxed, but with fewer resulting pustules. I think.

Guilty Pleasures

Guilty Pleasures. We've all got them. It's the season for indulging in all the crap that we normally wouldn't admit that we like. If anyone makes fun of you, you can just say "But it's Christmas", or "Only once a year" or "I was super drunk".

I have many guilty pleasures because the things I like are generally kind of tacky. My friends are all pretty style-y and classy-tastic, so I try to keep my shameful fondness for horrific twee and  ostentation in check around them

So deep breath here we go. I know you'll forgive me. I guess. Maybe.

- Pier One Imports. I like Pier One Imports. So sue me. I like shiny stuff and if you are in the market for shiny stuff, which I always, always am, you can be sure you’re going to find it at Pier One Imports. I go there all the time and never buy anything because I can’t seem to justify spending all that money on -  let’s be honest - crap. Pier One Imports is to home accessories what Forever 21 is to fashion: you feel kind of like trash when you go in, but dammit, it just feels sooooo gooood.

I went into Pier One today to get some shiny crap with which to decorate the house for the few social gatherings I am hosting over the next couple of weeks. No one who will be coming will care whether my house is like the Swisshorn Gold Palace Hotel in Hong Kong.

Swisshorn Gold Palace Hotel in Hong Kong

I would totally live in this place.

But I will. I really, really will. Thank you Pier One Imports for allowing me to decorate my home like a whore.

Breakfast nook. Too much?

- Fruit Jellies from Laura Secord.

The candy for old ladies who think they’re classy, but really aren’t. Also, a good candy for people with no teeth. I have teeth. For now.

- The Babys. No, not human babies. The band, The Babys from the 1970s that had a few albums of totally digestible pop music lead by John Waite who later went solo and churned out solo digestible pop. I will always sing along to The Babys. Loudly.

The guy in the lower left corner. Yah. I know. I would, too.

- Keanu Reeves. Just shut up.

- Videos with talking animals. Or dancing baby animals.

- Premium Plus salted top crackers.

I have eaten two rows as a meal on more than one occasion. That’s about 800 calories. Of crackers. Yes. I know.

- White french bulldogs. They look like grunty little pigs on leashes.

If you don't like this, you are a sociopath.

- Lady Stores where they sell home accents and bits and bobs. Like Pier One, but not so trashy - more Shabby Chic. Everything is painted white and there are always chandeliers and crystal handles for those refinishing projects I am too lazy and incompetent to undertake.

anthropologie. Weird, man repelling clothes. Weird decorating for women destined to be Old Maids. I think it'd be worth it.

Only ladies need apply

Mmm, I can feel the twee.

Chatelet, in Toronto

- Marshmallows.

Ok. 'Fess up. What are yours? Come on. I showed you mine.