Monday, 14 May 2012

Peter Pumpkinhead

One thing I really loved about being in the band was doing the videos. Not just being in them, but coming up with the concepts and story boards. I only did that for 4 or 5 of the videos, but it was so much fun and made me feel like I was contributing something meaningful, other than my famous hair flipping and being a foil to the bass-baritone of our lead singer. I think the guys in the band found video shoots tedious - which they sometimes were, what with the “hurry up and wait” thing that is all work in film and television.

But I loved the whole process. I was never shy about having my photo taken or being on camera (although I’ve always been iffy about tv, as it really does distort the way you look - or do I really look like that? Like a puffy and garish pantomime dame?). When the director said “Action”, I was ready to roll and have people look at ME ME ME ME ME!


So imagine my delight when I got to be FRONT and CENTRE in a video.



My narcissism grew 10 times that day.


It was 12 years ago, but I still remember a lot about shooting the Peter Pumpkinhead video. The song was featured (in a teeny tiny way) in the movie Dumb and Dumber, starring Jeff Daniels and Jim Carey. So, it was a major, major coup to score Jeff Daniels for the video. And he was totally into it. He was a fan of the band and went out of his way to make it all work. This was fresh after he’d been in the big movie “Speed” with Keanu Reeves and fresh faced newcomer, Sandra Bullock. So Jeff Daniels was, well, kind of a big deal.


I would like to take this opportunity, right now, to apologize, publicly, to Jeff Daniels.



Another thing about that video was that I thought because it was my BIG SHINY MOMENT, that I should get my face, like, you know, waxed, so that all the blonde and shimmery gorilla fuzz on my upper lip and chin wouldn’t be so masculinely obvious on camera.



So I went and got a wax.


And proceeded to break out with about 100 huge white heads and half that number of red welts.


I did this two days before and they had not gone away by the first day of shooting.


The poor makeup artist had to slather on the makeup with a trowel to cover my offensive pustule ridden face. it was really, really hideous.




That is why I appear to keep my hair in front of my face during the band shots, and why during the “angel” sequences my face is so washed out by lights. The director was trying to blind the viewer from seeing my ravaged complexion. Wise man.


The most fun moment of shooting the video was when the whole band switched instruments. It’s about a 2 second blip in the whole video. I was playing bass.


The least fun was the outdoor night time shoot with Jeff Daniels and me. It was the coldest night of the year - in January. Literally -25 Celcius, with a windchill that took it below that. And the video’s stylist, bless her heart, thought it would be super fun to dress me in little more than cheese cloth.


Yes. The outfit I am wearing, up on a platform, in the wind, in the freezing January snow, - is made only of cheese cloth. There’s no name for that kind of cold. Everyone was very nice and said “Aww, poor Ellen” and I got to run into a warmish trailer between shots while the extras had to freeze off their extremely poorly paid asses.








Well, the shoot finished and I survived, rubble-faced, frozen and still Koo-Koo for Keanu. And the song and video did very well for us, so I consider my sacrifices to have been much worth it.





I still get my face waxed, but with fewer resulting pustules. I think.




Friday, 11 May 2012

Foodie Friday - Weight Watchers Like a Virgin


What do Weight Watchers and Madonna have in common? Both are over 50 and are in great shape.


michael lauglin photo

christof stache photo










Both come from humble beginnings. Both are highly successful businesses. Both must continually reinvent themselves in order to remain fresh and relevant.


While I’ve been on Weight Watchers 3 times (and I’ve only met one person who was on Madonna once), I gained 5 pounds each time. My friend gained an excellent party ice-breaker topic. Granted I gained weight because I didn’t follow the plan. It’s pretty sensible stuff. Healthy diet. Portion control. Moderate exercise. Nothing new here. Yet they come out with a new system every year! Calories, then points, then flex points. Soon it will be buttons.





I’ll bet Madonna is hungry, too. And instead of points of flexpoints or what have you, each year Madonna is New and Improved! Now with more Sinew. Next year it will be, Less Music, More Nipples.


new single cover. seriously?



Every January Weight Watchers has to be New Improved Fresh Shiny. With every new album, Madonna has to be sexier and more grizzly looking. But really, it’s the same old thing, isn’t it? What they really should do is jazz up the supports components of the program, which is, after all, really what makes Weight Watchers work, and what makes Weight Watchers so much money. Anyone can buy a diet book and be done with it. But it’s those meetings, those weekly talks and visits and the accountability (complete with victory dances or shame slumps) that makes the program a lasting affair. It’s why AA works for so many people. And church.



And Madonna should have a nice big sandwich. Looking the way she does at 50-something.... it’s just creepy. Don’t get me wrong. People need to eat right and exercise. But if I had to choose between looking like Madonna and being 10 pounds overweight... well, call me fatty and pass the stretch pants. I shouldn’t be critical because Madonna might very well say to me, “Ellen Reid, you should just not eat a sandwich and maybe get some exercise”, and she’d be quite right. But, in my humble opinion, in terms of aging, me thinks the lady doth protest too much.



I mean, what the hell will happen to her psyche when she can no longer hold herself together with bits of plastic and fishnet stockings and Kabala bracelets? Or is she still in to that? Can’t keep up. Stop, Madonna. Before you have your name used as a DSM diagnosis.





As this is a Foodie Friday, let’s talk about the food on Weight Watchers first, shall we?



Everyone has seen these things on the Internets, right? If not, here they are for your trip down diet memory lane:




My mom has made her Weight Watcher’s Soup ever since I can remember. She’s been very successful with the program. I think I probably went straight from breast milk to Weight watcher’s soup. And then off to Cheerios and then Vector. And then crack cocaine. So really, breast milk is a slippery slope, isn’t it?


The thing about the soup is that you could, according to the WW plan, have as much as you wanted. Weight Watchers clearly had not met with me and my appetite. When I was younger, mom made this soup, as per the recipe, with cabbage. I wasn’t having any of it. Later, mom capitulated and replaced the cabbage with more friendly vegetables like sugar snap peas. Anyway, blah bah blah. Here’s the recipe.

_____________________________________________________________

Weight Watchers Garden Vegetable Soup, as made by Mickey "Gangsta Librarian" Reid

2/3 C slice carrots
1/2 C diced onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 C broth (Chicken or vegetable)
1and 1/2 C diced cabbage (or omit and use larger amounts of other veggies)
1/2 Cdiced celery
1 T tomato paste
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tspdried oregano
1/4 tsp salt
1 red pepper chopped
1/2 C sugar snap peas
1/2 C diced zucchini
1/2 C frozen green beans
1 C chopped mushrooms
1/2 C frozen peas (optional)
1 can diced tomatoes (optional)
1 large can mixed beans (optional, 1 can adds 8 points to the recipe overall)


1. In a large saucepan sprayed with non-stick cooking spray, saute the carrot, onions and garlic over low heat until softened - about 5 minutes

2.Ad broth, cabbage (if using), celery, red pepper, sugar snap peas, green beans (if using fresh), tomato paste, herbs and salt. Bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer, covered, for 15 minutes, or until vegetables are tender.

3. Stir in zucchini, tomatoes, frozen peas (if using) and mushrooms nad heat 3-4 minutes.

4. Serve hot.

* If using canned broth you might want to add a little extra water with some  dried boullion powder if you need more liquid.

Per serving: 42 calories; 0g total fat; 0mg cholesterol; 63 g sodium (if using low sodium broth); 8 g carbs; 2.4 g fibre; 3 g protein; 41 g calcium

0 POINTS

________________________________________________________________




On my most recent visit to see my Mom, she made a big batch of the soup using vegetable broth, to accommodate my recent adoption of a vegan diet. Isn’t she swell? I probably could even handle cabbage in it now, although I doubt anyone else would be able to handle the implications of feeding cabbage to me.



And just like the soup, you can have as much Madonna as you want, all day long. If she makes you dance, you can probably earn a few WW points.







Monday, 7 May 2012

Eat Your Veggies


So I made a big decision.
I’ve gone all vegan and stuff.
Yep. No meat, chicken, fish, dairy, eggs. No cheese. Not even honey.


Don’t miss it. Not one bit. It’s only been a little over 3 weeks, but I really don’t see any reason why I can’t maintain this regimen for life. Famous last words, I know. I know I’ll have accidental slips, and I’m going to try to be the best, least irritating dinner guest possible. I accept that this is my choice and I will never expect anyone to accommodate my new thang.


 But for all intents and purposes, I'm diving in head first.  I've found that the vegan versions of all my favourite omnivore foods are just fine. So I’m going to give it the good ol’ college try. It's something I want to do.


I’ve never been a big meat eater. I know I’ve swooned on and on about shake and bake, but mostly I just like the super salty coating. So, I frankly haven’t even missed the meat and chicken. I thought giving up tuna would be a tough one, because you know about me and tuna sandwiches, but after reading about the levels of mercury that I’ve been ingesting, I think I’ve probably had enough chicken of the sea for one lifetime.
I was just bored one day and clicked on a friend’s link on their Facebook page. This video was an hour long and I watched it all (I can’t sit through a sit-com, so this was a kinda big deal). It seemed to make a lot of sense to me. So I did a little more reading and even some research of actual science type papers that seemed to be of high quality and not funded by financially interested backers. Then I found this super cool website with a LOT of quick little videos that condenses and explains the most up to date research on nutritional science.
So I decided to try it for a week. And it was kind of fun.








 I tried a lot of new foods and bought organic produce without whining about the price, and found it tastes better anyway.I've discovered the joy of whole grains. I found some interesting vegan blogs. I researched the kinds of nutritional support one needs when following a plant based diet, like ensuring I take a B12 and vitamin D supplement, and also to not overdo it on the processed soy products. The health reasons were a no-brainer.
Then I read about factory farming and what happens to the critters.



After that, I knew I could never eat an animal again.




Ever.


http://ferrebeekeeper.wordpress.com/

I’m in the process of phasing out  products I’ve used that test on animals or are bad for the environment. It will take a bit of time. I have a LOT of leather shoes that I can’t replace over night. But I’ve heard this whole transition thing is a process. And that no one is perfect at this.
I haven’t had ONE CRUMB of Vector and I’m not even thinking about it. 
I’d tried doing the vegetarian thing before, cutting out the meat but keeping the dairy. But I found I got really gassy and never felt full. I thought it was because I was missing the animal protein, but it was the dairy that was making my insides crazy. Giving up the dairy just made everything fall into place.





I’ll try not to write too too much about all of this business as I know it’s not as infinitely fascinating to everyone as it is to me. And there's nothing funny about being a vegan. It's a very serious, finger wagging and hemp wearing business. There is no time for celebrity slagging and cartoons of idiots in Uggs when you are a vegan. Plus, there are a lot of vegan blogs out there that are really slick and cool, like THIS ONE, so I’ll just try to focus on what I do best: blogging about my poops.
I’d like to go into detail about my vegan poops, but I know you’re delicate, dear reader. But really. They are spectacular.
There is no more enthusiastic, vocal, and annoying preacher than the newly converted, so I won’t go on and on. But the whole process has clicked with me and I’m feeling chipper as stink. Brian, my beloved bacon loving, steak worshiping, cheese addled husband, has been 100% supportive. 


He’s going to be eating a LOT of beans from now on. I may regret this. 
Here are some pictures of some things I eat now.
Wild Rice Salad with Oranges and Roasted Beets from the Post Punk Kitchen: Recipe HERE

Citrus indused tofu with sesame greens


Thai Chickpeas and veggies over brown rice
Breakfast smoothie with kale, almond milk, chia seeds and frozen berries. Tyler, the bull with an udder approves of this dairy-free beverage.





Sweet Potato Soup with Kale and Coconut

vegan peanut butter cups.



Vegan Peanut Butter cups. I'll blog about these bad boys soon.