Banana Bread

Ryan and I went on a field trip to Michael’s Craft Store last week because Sarah was too terrified to go. She says it’s overwhelming. Like going to IKEA on a Saturday afternoon after taking acid. 

I wonder how she would know what that’s like. She’s had a wild past, I guess.

Anyway, Ryan and I fared just fine and I only got a little sweaty. I got some so much very very needed craft supplies and I also picked up four adorable little ceramic loaf pans that were on mega deep discount. I only regret not getting 12 of the little bastards.

So I made banana bread because I am amazing. I’m going to put ribbons on them and give them to the neighbours.

I used a recipe from the Veganomicon (vegan bible), but made a few twists. The original recipe was posted HERE.   I added mushed up pear and some ginger and allspice. I also forgot to add the .5 C apple sauce the original recipe called for. I know. Idiot. It was the whole point. But I guess the pear helped. 

So it’s pretty darned good, must say. Not terribly sweet, so if you like it sweet, pour a bag of sugar over it and maybe some corn syrup.

You’re welcome.

Lower-Fat Banana Bread 

Makes one loaf or 4 adorable mini loaves

Preheat oven to 350 and lightly grease your loaf pan(s)

2 large very ripe bananas and one ripe, cored and peeled pear

1/4 cup canola oil

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 tablespoons molasses

2 cup all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ginger

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

a few dashes of Allspice

1/2 teaspoon salt

Mush up the banana and pear really well.

Add the oil, molasses and sugar. Combine.

Sift in the dry ingredients and stir until just combined - it’ll be all lump-tastic.

Plop into loaf pan(s) and bake for about 50 minutes (40 for mini loaf pans). Oven heats differ, so I’d check your bread after 35 minutes or so. Toothpick should come out clean after poking into the centre of the bread. But you know that kind of stuff already because you’re a superstar.

Oh, and Sarah’s not getting any of this banana bread because she wouldn’t take me to Michael’s. I guess we’re even because I told her I wouldn’t got on her eleventy billion mile charity bike ride with her.

What is up with her?

Jeez.

I love her.

Except when she won’t take me to Michael’s.

And she’ll probably get some banana bread.

Guest Blogger - Sarah: The Texas Diaries.

Ellen’s blog has been hijacked today by me, her carnivore pal, so I can share with all y’all the story of how I met my new bad-ass boyfriend: Texas. This blog is rated M for "May contain Meat". *

Tex-ass, on paper, is ALL WRONG for me - or at least the version of me I would answer on a questionnaire: modest, small carbon footprint, liberal. Oh stop laughing Ellen.  Texas is none of these admirable things, but I still got a big ole crush on him. 

The setting: 3 university pals reunite in a Houston suburb for a girlie weekend sans spouses and spawn. This meant liberal amounts of  f-bombs in every sentence (why say it just once?), spying on your teenage kids’ facebook pages from 5000 miles away and fighting the urge to comment on their half-naked photos.

There was much flatulence and reverence of English period dramas – YES ELLEN THESE ARE YOUR PEOPLE!!

We also watched the Honey Badger 100 times on You Tube. You’re welcome: 

Chapter 1.  The New Boyfriend has a Security Detail:  Ye Olde Scrappy Delta Flight Crew

A Pilot who commandeers the PA system to announce that he’s a seasoned vet who is ‘Gonna fly this plane like I stole it!’ plus a Delta flight attendant loudly reprimanding lady in front of me and my travel buddy for asking us ‘Why the hell we would want to visit Houston?’  

I’m intrigued…. and I haven’t even met him yet!!

Getting kicked out of first class

bridesmaids

Arrival at He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (OK, I’ll say it - George Bush Intercontinental Airport), the new boyfriend knows how to treat a lady.

Kabir

Chapter 2. My new Boyfriend is HOT! 

Being outside in Houston in July is like breathing soup.  Ellen and I do NOT like to be hot and sweaty. Ever.

The only souls outside are pool boys and gardeners who tend to my friend’s home:

Tara

Now I know some of you are thinking girl weekend plus pool boy = meat (as referenced in opening disclaimer).  We’ll get to the meat.  As an aside, let’s talk about how our Houston hostess, a transplanted Canadian, camouflages herself to blend in.  My new bf does loves to play dress-up:

Camo for Canucks in Texas

1. Do NOT say ‘about’. Ever. Yes we know it sounds normal to you.
2. Semper Ubi Spirit Ubi! Always wear spirit wear while attending your child’s football or baseball game! My hostess pal the big rebel did not do the patriotic thing and ‘jingo-ize’ her sprit wear with a US flag but she does get points for using a bedazzler:

1. Say ‘restroom’ and not ‘washroom’. Are you a savage?
2. Do not drive a Prius or compact like some pinko commie. Gas is good.
3. Do not declare your love for Obama.  Or helmets.

4. Casually mention that all y’all were fixing to go Buc-ee's. 

Chapter 3.  Is it just a crush? What turned ‘like’ into ‘love’: BUC-EE'S.

IF they ever invented a shrine to Texas excess it could be encapsulated in the 68,000 square feet of fabulous and unfathomable that is Buc’ees – a small chain of roadside convenience stores (do not make my mistake and call it a truck stop) that we hit on our journey to San Antonio.

                              Crush-worthy facts:

1.There are 80 soda fountains. 

2.Two words: Jerky Bar

Yes. Jerky Bar.

3.Three words: BBQ brisket Sammy:

4.Three letters: BLT

5. Shitter’s full!  Not at the Buc-ee's …34 individual stalls with green and red vacancy lights and local artwork.  You have not truly enjoyed a truck stop throne until you have arrived at the Buc-ee's Beaver.

No giggling toddlers peeking under the stalls here, each pod is fully contained, spotless and I think I detected a waft of lavender.  

Chapter 4. Other things I love about my new boyfriend:

1. The original lazy river, complete with camo coolers and rednecks.  This was truly awesome.

Camo Cooler

1. San Antonio.  It’s like finding out that your new Harley-riding-redneck-boyfriend can also speak ITALIAN!  San Antonio is like Venice got dropped in the middle of the biggest ranch in the world.  Oh and it’s home to the Alamo where I guess something famous happened.  History shmistory. We didn’t go to there, why would we go there when we could stay here?? 

Mokara Hotel

1.Shopping

                                  2. Fried things.

deep fried pickles

Chapter 5. It would never really work. Why my parents/wonderful friends will NOT love my new boyfriend

Ellen would only include him at dinner parties begrudgingly.

antler utensils

He lets bumper stickers speak for him.

Some other little things that my boyfriend did that sort of irritated me: 

I had no actual sightings of Texans with Big Haarr. This may be a dealbreaker. 

Mariachi bands.  Does anyone actually like Mariachi?  Or mimes?   

Chapter 6.  If dreams were reality and Texas took on a human form….

While on the road to San Antonio, our Houston hostess suddenly looked in her rearview mirror and said ‘Holy Shit!!”  We all spun around and this was the view from the back of SUV. Well, ok this is a re-enactment of the blond rock star god we all three witnessed. No helmet, natch. But this is this best I could do since I could not get my jaw off the floor and my camera out fast enough. Note to self: ‘riding’ not an awesome search word for Google images. *shudder*.

Anyway, this is exactly how I will remember my new bf Texas…

you may hate his politics, his morals, but this Honey Badger don’t give a shit.

Foodie Friday: Tori's Bakeshop and Elpoo's Ginger Cookies.

So it’s been 8 weeks that I’ve been following a vegan diet and I can tell you that it’s going great. I don’t miss any of the “old” foods, and I’ve discovered a huge array of new recipes and foods that have made my diet more varied, so deprivation is certainly not an issue. 

Finding eateries that serve vegan dishes is a little more of a challenge. So imagine my delight when Tori’s Bakeshop opened in my neighbourhood.

Tori’s is vegan, organic, locally sourced and charming to the nth degree. There are also many gluten free options.

Sarah and I went there and aligned our Chaka Khans and gossiped about our friends.

I had a chocolate chip spelt cookie, and Sarah had an amazing blueberry scone thing. We both had lattes made with organic almond milk. So yummy.

I really hope that they branch out into sandwiches and small plates. There was a steady stream of customers, so hopefully this little gem will flourish. I swear to you, this place is so sweet you just want to hug people when you're there.

This could be a problem if you are smelly, or the only other customer is covered in spikes and broken glass.

Could happen.

Tres charmant

When I got home I was so inspired by baked vegan goodness that I thought I should do a little baked goods magic of my own.

I’d been craving gingersnaps, so sourced a recipe online HERE, from the fine fox at Ohladycakes.com, but made some small changes that I will outline below.

Note, these gingersnaps are more ginger cookies - they are chewy as opposed to “snappy”. You might need to add a couple tablespoons of flour, if you're craving a harder cookie. They are perfect with a cup of tea, or shoved into your cake hole 3 at a time at rapidly repeated intervals before you can shake yourself and say, “Hey idiot, just because they are vegan, doesn’t make them low calorie”. 

Just so as you know.

Vegantastic Ginger Cookies

1/2 C vegan butter (Earth Balance)

3/4 C maple sugar (makes for a deeper flavour, but expensive, so you can sub out other vegany sugar)

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 C fancy molasses

3 Tbsp vegan sour cram (Tofutti)

2 tsp ground ginger

2 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 and 1/2 C all purpose flour, unbleached.

Oven: 350

In a small bowl mix together spices, baking soda and flour. Set aside.

In a large bowl of a mixer, blend together butter, sugar, molasses, sour cream and extract. Beat for 1-2 minutes until very well combined and creamy. 

Add dry ingredients and mix until just well combined. Drop by Tablespoonfuls onto baking sheet.


Sprinkle with additional maple sugar, if desired.


Bake for 15 minutes (check at about 12 minutes, as oven temperatures vary). They should be slightly browned on the bottom. Cool for a bit on the cookie sheets and then move them to a cooling rack to cool thoroughly. The original recipe says these will keep for 3 days. I popped mine into a freezer bag and take them out as I need them.

Apparently I need them all the time and a lot at once.

Makes 25 cookies.

About 90 calories a cookie. I know - you wouldn’t think something so cute and innocent would pack such a caloric punch. Try not to think about it while you’re binging on them. Just think of it as your duty.

Downton Abbey

You know if I like something that it is no longer a fringe concept. I seem to only jump on bandwagons once they have got rolling and they are ready to roll out of town.  Maybe it’s smart. I’m waiting to see what the mainstream of society thinks about a particular trend - the people of the world are my test subjects, and I will not become part of a popular activity/idea/movement unless it has been proven to be funny, to not cause cancer, and certainly not until there is extensive tie-in merchandising.

Which brings me to Downton Abbey, of course.

My friend Sarah, who keeps me in the know about all things British cozy/period drama/ways of cooking with soda pop, told me a very long time ago that there was a show I should watch called Downton Abbey, that I would love it. I said, I will get on that, dear friend, because I know you’ve never directed me falsely. 

Two years later...

Oh my God, I love Downton Abbey!

And so does the rest of the sentient world, apparently.

What is it about this show that makes me swoon with gender stereotypical rapture? The utter romance of star crossed lovers Mary and Matthew? The tension of the pure and true love between Mr. Bates and Anna. The sweetness of waiting for the big-time come-uppance that must befall Thomas and  O’Brien? Does anyone know where they poop? We haven’t seen that yet, have we. With so much attention to historical detail, you’d think they’d show us the most important room in the house/yard.

Is it the simplicity of living according to strict rules that might be inconvenient, but also make it so much easier to plan one’s day? 

There is something of a social class tourism in it. There is the voyeurism of peeping into the peerage. I think it’s a kind of classy Real Housewives of the Blah Blah Blah, only Downton Abbey is Real Gentry of the British Countryside. Instead of wine thrown in faces, you get cold shoulders, which has a much greater impact, I think. You can’t rinse out disdain.

And the lives of the staff has something appealing about it. Although they work long hours for little recognition, there is a sense of family and loyalty that gives purpose and dignity to their lives, even if those beliefs may or may not be justified.

i just can’t decide who I want to be, Anna or Mary. Mary is strong, yet simpering. Anna is strong and principled, yet doesn’t get to wear those awesome dresses that the “upstairs” gals do.  How to chose, how to chose?

 And who doesn’t love The Dowager Countess (I wonder if Maggie Smith wearies of hearing herself being referred to as “a treasure”?). I even started a needlepoint portrait of Our Favourite Countess of the One Liners. But I made a mistake and used the totally wrong colour for her skin tone and she looks like The Zombie Dowager Countess. 

Hilarious, but not what I had in mind.

Downton Abbey does romanticize the past a fair bit. Things are much better today. I mean, if the son of a Turkish diplomat died in my sex-time bed, I mean, I would be telling EVERYONE.

Yah, fellas, I’m THAT good.

As it is, no one dies in my sex-time bed, although Brian has told me on many occasions that I am making him die inside. Which is kind of the same, right?

It’s my soap opera, and I love it. The only difference is that we have to wait months and months to find out what happens next. Apparently it’s in production now for release in the UK in Sept and then in on PBS in January of 2013. These Brits are like crack dealers. They get us hooked and then they make us wait and beg and cry. And then, after 6 amazing episodes, the show disappears. Why can’t they be like American television where a series is beaten to death and you just want it to stop because it’s like watching a fly spinning on it’s back in a puddle of water. Just die already, CSI. It will be so much easier for everyone.

So wait I shall, like the rest of the world, for the return of our favourite period drama. Not to be confused with the period drama I have on a less and less regular basis, but used to be once a month or so. And British television series, like my own period - well you never know when they’ll show up or how long they’ll last or how many people will get slapped because of it. Long live Anna and Mr. Bates!