Crescent Fresh? But is it Friendly?

I need you to all look at this thing.


I know I am, as usual, late to the party and this thing has probably been floating around for the past million years, but I just saw it recently. Ergo, it is newly fascinating and should be to you, too.


A friend posted this on my Facebook page.











Discuss.


I simply can NOT stop watching this. 


My friend Rob says it's like a train wreck - that he can't look away. But I think it's much more than that. Much more devious. I think it's a mind trick that the Crescent Fresh creators are playing in order to access our internets and steal our banking information and Twitter passwords and skin samples. 

Cute sock puppets? Or the faces of Evil?

We're so mesmerized by the song that we don't notice that they are quietly hacking into our files and stealing our cyber souls. And it's not just while the song is playing.


No.


This song will linger in your psyche for days and you'll be pretty much unable to do anything other than replay the video, sing the song to yourself (even on the toilet, dammit) and look at your friends with a critical, judgemental eye - are they crescent fresh? Are their whole lives a mess?


It's got to the point that I think I need an intervention. Is there a 12 step program to get off of Crescent Fresh? 


I mean, I've pretty much accepted that I am powerless in the face of the Crescent Fresh song.


But how to move on, and quickly, before this video ruins my relationships, my health, my life?

In the Battle Between Good and Evil Blog Posts, Good Will Be Victorious!

Like all bloggers, I keep track of my stats. I like to see which posts get the most views, which search terms have led people to accidentally land on my blog (sorry people who wanted naked pictures of Stevie Nicks) and which countries think I'm the prettiest (Guam, I guess). 

I also have noted that I recently "lost" a follower. This is so sad. What have I done that you should forsake me, friend? It's probably my mom. She gets weirded out by my constant references to poops and douche-bags and the weird crap she does when she gets super super super high on meth that she makes in her own bathtub. Sorry, mom. I really just need to express myself.


Anyway.


There has been an exciting trend in my stats: The Ted Nugent blog (May 20, 2011), long the most often viewed piece has recently been over taken by the Where's Allie Brosh blog (March 7, 2012). I've been watching this perfect storm approaching for months and people, it has been fascinating!


Many people viewed the Ted Nugent blog because they clicked on an image of him and it brought them to my site, where they were likely disappointed to find a rant on what an utter douche he is. The truth hurts.


Here's a short poem about it:


My Ted Nuge-ant
Is a Douche-rant
Has less views
Than A. Brosh's dos.


Many people viewed the Allie Brosh piece because they are fans of her blog and were looking to find out what is going on with her and are wondering if she's coming back.


And now my Allie Brosh bit has received more hits (in substantially less time) than the Ted Nugent bit. 


To me this is nothing less than good conquering evil, the sun dispersing the clouds, Harry Potter killing Voldemorte. 

A vote for Allie is a vote for humanity, equality and adorable kittens.


A vote for Ted Nugent is a vote for the zombie apocalypse.

I am so happy that the internet is choosing truth and light. Thank you internets. 


This is probably less interesting to you than it is to me. But I've had a fair bit of coffee and coffee makes me have opinions, damn it.