Monday, 8 June 2015

Bedtime Story (for adults that need to calm the $#%& down!)

You know how sometimes you just want to be a kid again? No stresses, no worries?

I want this. All. The. Time.

Sometimes I just want someone to tuck me in to bed and smooth my hair and then tell me a nice bedtime story. But not like the books we read when we are grown up, about women abducted by serial killers, or guys with sex dungeons, or gods of small things.

No, sometimes (all the time) I want a story with no conflict and nothing but happiness and rainbows.

So I put it out to Facebook that this is what I wanted.

And my friend Megan delivered.

Here is the story Megan wrote for me to calm me the $&%* down. I hope you like it. I read it every night before bed.

A quacky duck and a fuzzy yellow chick were best friends. They lived in the same neighbourhood. In fact, they lived right next door to one another so that every morning they could have coffee together in the chick's sunny breakfast nook. 

Sometimes on warm mornings, they took their coffee outside and sat in the chick's patio chairs and warmed their feet in the sun while they planned their day.

After a nice sponge bath in her kitchen sink, the chick would skip back to her friend's where she would climb into the basket on the duck's bike and they would take the quiet side streets down to the street with all the shops. 

They'd poke around in the yarn shop looking for nice leftover bits of pretty needlepoint thread and then to the grocer's to buy their lentils and almond milk.

Often, as if by chance (although it wasn't at all), they'd run into their good friend the piglet who would oink with joy at the first sight of his friends. This happened pretty much every day.

The piglet would regale his friends with esoteric bits of knowledge about marmalade, of which he was quite fond, and the duck and chick listened happily while in their minds they were thinking ahead to the nice lunch they would have together.

They generally took turns making lunch: the duck excelled at watercress sandwiches with a little bit of vegan mayo; the chick made a killer gluten and dairy-free quiche; and the piglet was a dab-hand at vegan rancheros. 

If their friend, the kitten had the day off from his job at the kitten kindergarten, he would join the trio and bring a thermos of tea  


Well, that's all we've got so far. If you want more, we'll just have to badger Megan into pouring more treacle down our throats. Admit it, this made you feel better, didn't it?

original candy store photo by mlhradio
original park photo by Art Siegel