 |
| H2O Mop X5 Steam Cleaner with Super Clean Kit |
Why do I feel like I've shaken hands with the Devil, or taken my first snort of cocaine?
Is it a good deal, or just a slippery slope?
Will I really have the cleanest floors in the world, or will I end up on an episode of Hoarders, with a VISA card maxed out, shelves filled with the finest in "Diamondelle" TM jewelry and Bumpits TM that plastic, spaceman money can buy?
I watch The Shopping Channel while I'm on the treadmill. I'd probably be a better person if I watched the BBC news, but it's so much less shiny. Today's was my first purchase, but I have long been familiar with all of the fabulous wares on offer at TSC (that's an abrieve). I've come THIS close to buying a Kitchenaid, a pair of stretchy pants, Rhonda Sheer's Genie Bra (it's SO comfy. Apparently), a watch from the Joan Rivers' collection (I know), a carpet. The list goes on.
I'm also kind of obsessed with one of the models on TSC. Shona (Show-Nah).
She looks a bit like the mannequins of my childhood.
Slightly elfin, crazy waist to hip ratio and a constant expression of demure that makes me want to simultaneously slap her and offer her a cup of tea. I want her job.
So yah, I can't stop watching, and while I watch, I want.
Usually by the time I'm off the treadmill, the urgency of needing a Wayne Clark's Ravishng Roaring 20's Crystal Cuff bracelet has worn off and I'm more interested in not perishing than I am in accessorizing.
Today was different.
I could not stop thinking about that damned steamer.
My floors are kind of a "thing" with me. What I mean by that is that they will never be clean enough. Never be shiny enough. Part of the problem is the animals. The other, bigger part, is that I am abysmally lazy and hate cleaning my floors. I vacuum once or twice a week. I wash the floors... well... less frequently, let's say. So the hope that this miracle machine will actually do all the work for me. And that I'll have the mirror shiny floors of my dreams.
I'm not holding out much hope. But I am a little afraid that now that I've opened the gate, that I've taken that first step, that I've, well, popped my Shopping Channel cherry, that I've embarked on the slipperiest of slopes.
It's a long way down.
I'll see you at the bottom, Ryan.
