Caucasian Chop Suey

I wrote on Wednesday about my love for Asian design and stuff. This inspired me to continue the theme for today’s Foodie Friday.

Today’s Food is...

My Mom’s Bastardized Hamburger Chop Suey!

Before you protest, Mickey, I will proclaim to the world that this is one of my favourite dinners as a kid. When making up this blog, I made the recipe and it was a total hit with Brian, so we will continue enjoying the world’s best, and most, Caucasian Chop Suey ever!

I have made a few small changes to the recipe but it still retains it’s innate fabulousness.

Before you begin, make sure you like salt. 

In the words of a famous Mom, Marge Simpson:

Watch for the Nov 13th, 2011 episode of the Simpsons where Marge starts her own food blog. That ought to inspire you to get back to your blog, Crispybits, Ryan!

Mmmm, salt.

Mickey’s Super Caucasian Chop Suey

You will need have these thingses:

1 pound ground beef

1 onion

a few stalks celery, chopped

1 tsp beef boullion powder (Beef-in-a-Mug)

1 tsp salt

1 C chopped mushroom (leave this out as Brian cannot abide by mushrooms)

1 green pepper, chopped

3 T cornstarch

1/2 t sugar

4 t soy sauce

2 T water

1.5 C bean sprouts, blanched in boiling water for a couple minutes and drained.

You will need to do this:

Brown the hamburger with the chopped onion

I'm so excited about this

Brown the hamburger with extreme prejudice.

It takes a while to brown the hamburger and onion, so I took 3 pictures to mimic the passage of time.

Add chopped celery, beef boullion powder, SALT, mushrooms and green pepper.

Someone else is excited about Caucasian Chop Suey Night!

Cook slowly for about 10 minutes

In a small bowl, make a smooth paste of the cornstarch, sugar, soya sauce and water.

Add cornstarch mixture to beef mixture and cook until thick and clear. More water may be added if it’s too thick

Add bean sprouts

They look like worms, but they are just blanched bean sprouts. Don't worry.

Cook on low heat just enough to heat through.

Serve to delighted friends and stuffed toys.

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It is important that you serve this chop suey with rice and green peas. The peas should be the frozen kind, boiled up.

I like to mix the rice and peas together because, well, I’m just different and I march to the tune of my own drummer. I know. The kids at school were kind of in awe of me and all.

Twin orbs of deliciousness

Obviously, this is probably the least authentic version of chop suey going, but it doesn’t matter because it tastes great and provides your sodium needs for a full week. No more tediousness with having to ensure you get your FDA recommended amount of sodium. No hyponatremia for me, that’s all I can say.

Another favourite salty dinner at our house was Hamburger Helper Short Cut Spaghetti. They don’t make it any more. We used to only have it on nights that my Dad went to his Rotary meetings because it aggravated his ulcer, which was a shame because I think he actually liked the stuff. It was so salty we might as well have been pouring full boxes of Sifto down our mid western throats. We tried other Hamburger Helper selections after they discontinued the Short Cut Spaghetti, but it wasn’t the same. It was kinda weird because all our chest pains stopped around that time.

Looks the same, but isn't the Short Cut version. You'd have to drink the ocean to get more salt.

Oh my poor mother. She endures no end of ribbing from me. But darling mommy, if I didn’t love what you cooked when I was little, would I still be making it today?

And, Mom, I also make Brian cut a smiley face into my bologna slices and he has to say in a squeeky voice, just like you used to “Don’t eat my nose....Ohhhhh nooooooo, not my nose! Pleeeeease, don’t eat my eyes!.... Nooooo...” etc.

                                             

Some traditions must be carried forward. Especially the salty ones.

Asia and the awesome stuff from there I like.

I love traditional Asian design and stuff.

Particularly Chinese, Japanese and South Asian, but not exclusively.

If I could, I would live inside a red enameled Chinese jewelry box, wear saris and read novels written by Ishiguro and Murakami. All. Day. Long.

used to be William F Buckley's sitting room. Snazzy!

I would look awesome in this room

You can't help but look elegant.

This is cooler than your jacket.

Next time I get married, I'm wearing this.

Ishiguro, I heart you!

In my old condo I have my office painted by Lori Lemare and Lori Klassen of Lori Lemare Studios to look like that jewelry box of my dreams.

I have a few things from China, or inspired by Chinese design, that I love. Many were given to my grandmother by a friend of hers who was  missionary in China in the 1920's.

Blue and white traditional pattern tea cup (love this) small wooden box with etching, small dipping dish.

Plate and teapot bought in Shanghai flea market. Cat bought at Humane Society.

Chinese embroidered slippers. No, Bill B., they do NOT fit me.

Chinese slippers.

detail form embroidered Chinese shoe

filigree dish with Chinese lettering on underside

Ivory Mah Jong set. MUST learn to play!

very small brass dish with enamel paint

Small brass tray. I think it might be for incense.

small brass dish

detail from painted plate from Lori Lemare Studios

ivory domino set

My bed was hand carved in India.

paint treatment by Lorilemarestudios.com

Stir fried pea shoots put me into raptures. 

Photo  from neat blog about Asian food

Edamame is the best snack food. Naan bread is bread on 11.  I really can’t do Dim Sum, sashimi or curried goat.

                      This guy says it's awesome and he took this picture. I say no. Not for me.

 Guess I’m just a dabbler. But an appreciative dabbler, if that counts for anything.

Panda bears are the best kind of bears (koalas are a close second). 

Anyone who does not want to hug this Panda is evil and should die.

I want to hug this panda and am willing to pay a lot of money, plus pick up their poop, in order to do so. I want to go to this:

http://www.chinatravel.com/china-tours/cd-7/

Japanese silks, Chinese water colours, Indian tapestries and sari fabric. These things freakin' rule.

available from White Dog Vintage White Dog Vintage on Etsy

sari fabric

common theme, bird and branch. Heaven.

Silk fabric

not sure what this is but it's awesome

I have done several Asian themed needlepoints.

needlepoint slipper ornament. No, Bill B., it does not fit me.

At one point there was a dragon in every room of my house. I mean, like, in a pillow or a painting. Not like a real dragon. That would have been weird and crowded.

needlepoint carpet and stool voer. Stool is a Chinese rice chest.

I went as a geisha for Halloween once when I was little. Used a real kimono that we had in the house. A friend of my grandmother’s was a missionary in China back in the 1920’s and used to send my grandma all sorts of gorgeous things. We also used a pair of black tights to make my hair do. Desperate times call for desperate, weird - yet creative - measures.

I used to like the band Asia, but then I found out they had nothing to do with Asia or Asian art and culture so I totally stopped listening to them. Plus, they were pretty awful.

Viggo Mortensen, Jeff Daniels, Elijah Wood and some British dude, but it might also be Kristy McNicol.
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