Yes. It's World Vegan Day.
I know what you're thinking... you're thinking, "Come on, Elpoo. EVERY DAY is vegan day".
Well, let me tell you it's really hard to find vegan shoes and I bloody well deserve a parade because of this, ok?
So how does a vegan celebrate the day set aside to honour her people?
Well, she starts out with a healthy vegan breakfast.
Follow that with a lot of sitting on the couch with her dog while she surfs the internet for kitten pictures,
scientific proof that veganism will make her thin,
and internet medical symptom checkers.
|I should probably order this right away.|
Later on there might some jubilant vacuuming.
Because it's such a special day I might wash and prep eleventy billion vegetables. I will do this after I vacuum because I always forget how crumbly cauliflower is and there will be cauliflower droppings everywhere. It's like confetti, I tell myself. It's not confetti. It sticks to the bottom of my feet. World Vegan Day has its sad moments.
I'll take a moment to think about how much I suffer because I am a vegan and I shed one low sodium tear.
After a nourishing vegan lunch
|this chickpea, kale and brown rice salad is best served with 3 rows of vegan crackers. Apparently.|
I'll get together with other vegans in my area.
We'll talk about how great it is to be vegan and how stupid it is that major grocery stores don't carry agar-agar and teff flour.
Then it's homeward I go for my afternoon nap that I dedicate to St. Cornelius, Patron Saint of Farm Animals.
Then, before I make the most awesome World Vegan Day Dinner Ever,
|acorn squash stuffed with quinoa, peppers and vegan cheese.|
I'll stop and say a short vegan prayer before the vegan shrine. Every vegan home has a shrine where we can pay homage to our Vegan God.
The prayer is something like this:
Then I'll watch a bunch of tv and go to bed.
Happy World Vegan Day!!