Thursday, 1 November 2012

Nov 1 - World Vegan Day

Yes. It's World Vegan Day.

I know what you're thinking... you're thinking, "Come on, Elpoo. EVERY DAY is vegan day".

Well, let me tell you it's really hard to find vegan shoes and I bloody well deserve a parade because of this, ok?

So how does a vegan celebrate the day set aside to honour her people?

Well, she starts out with a healthy vegan breakfast.

Follow that with a lot of sitting on the couch with her dog while she surfs the internet for kitten pictures,

scientific proof that veganism will make her thin,

and internet medical symptom checkers.

I should probably order this right away.

Later on there might some jubilant vacuuming.

Because it's such a special day I might wash and prep eleventy billion vegetables. I will do this after I vacuum because I always forget how crumbly cauliflower is and there will be cauliflower droppings everywhere. It's like confetti, I tell myself.  It's not confetti. It sticks to the bottom of my feet. World Vegan Day has its sad moments.

I'll take a moment to think about how much I suffer because I am a vegan and I shed one low sodium tear.


After a nourishing vegan lunch

this chickpea, kale and brown rice salad is best served with 3 rows of vegan crackers. Apparently.

I'll get together with other vegans in my area.

We'll talk about how great it is to be vegan and how stupid it is that major grocery stores don't carry agar-agar and teff flour.

Then it's homeward I go for my afternoon nap that I dedicate to St. Cornelius, Patron Saint of Farm Animals.

Then, before I make the most awesome World Vegan Day Dinner Ever,

acorn squash stuffed with quinoa, peppers and vegan cheese.

I'll stop and say a short vegan prayer before the vegan shrine. Every vegan home has a shrine where we can pay homage to our Vegan God.

The prayer is something like this:

Then I'll watch a bunch of tv and go to bed.

Happy World Vegan Day!!

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