Saturday, 9 July 2011

Mistakes I Continue to Make

Some people learn from their mistakes.

I seem to have this mental block when it comes to processing when things have turned out badly before and applying gained knowledge to future action. It's not that I forget stuff that I do that ends badly. I just continue to believe that "maybe this time it will be different", regardless of the number of failed attempts at a given activity.

Some people might call it plucky optimism. I call it slap-in-the-head stupidity.

Here is a partial list of mistakes I continue to make:

I drink those French vanilla cappuccino coffees, or the iced caps so fast that I feel totally sick afterwards. But I never learn and I never shall.

I love this so much

Drink Fast. Very fast.

I fill up on bread at restaurants. Every time.

I provide my contact info to retailers.

 I cut my hair short thinking my weirdly large and oblong head can pull it off.

 Buy anything 2 for one when I don’t even really need the one.

Nap for 3 hours.

Think I can grow herbs indoors.

I won’t stop picking at it. I once pulled a wart out of my thumb. Root and all. There was a great deal of blood.

I keep trying to read Dune,  thinking that this time maybe it will be good.

Still incomprehensible after all these years.

I will eat 2 cups of cauliflower, 16 baby carrots, 1 c of raw broccoli (with ranch dip) and 2 c of honeydew melon from the rider at soundcheck. 

It's only healthy if you do not eat all of it. I eat all of it.

Then I will not be hungry for dinner. Dinner will be free and I will feel obliged to eat it because it is free. After the show there will be  some rider food left over.

Yes. All of it.

 I will feel compelled to eat it in case there is no food available for a 20 minute period at some point and I’d regret not having eaten it then, wouldn’t’ I?

Cut my toenails too short and then be unable to run or walk properly.

I will continue to order shoes on line even though I’m continually disappointed.

 Think I can have 1 bowl of Vector. Ha ha ha ha ha.

 Buy high heels.

Wear white t-shirts while drinking coffee or eating an apple.

Smile and say hello to the scowly couple down the street who never smile or say hello back even after 4 years of seeing me practically every day.

Brush the dog indoors. While wearing shorts. Right after moisturizing my legs.

Befriend crazy people. Give them my phone number. 

Buy cocktail dresses. I do not go to cocktail parties. I do not go to parties. I do not drink cocktails. I sit around in pants and t-shirts all day long spilling food on myself.

Drink diet sodas and get the resulting headache.

Whine about a problem I have to people who have the same problem that I have except their version of that same problem is way worse than mine.

To err is human, I suppose. But to continue erring? I suppose that would be time wasting, disappointing, sick making, insulting, fattening and expensive. I'm used to it.


  1. My mistake: Turning on the TV thinking that there will actually be something worth watching.

    My other mistake: Buying cheese, knowing I can't have it in the house.

  2. Oh I hear you! Surrrrre, I can have a whole box of Mini Wheats in the house, just for fun. I mean, what if Saunders drops by for breakfast?
    I'd have to have something to give her, right?

  3. You never know when I might drop by for breakfast.

  4. Oh.. I was sure I had a whole box of Mini Wheats... hmmm... maybe Brian ate them... hmmm. Maybe Gracie got into them. Oh well. Sorry Saunders. Would you like this carrot?

  5. Don't ever change LMFAO You are so entertaining even to us crazy ppl

  6. Speaking about slap in the stupidity I have the solution for you on this problem. Its shovel upside the head. A foldup compact shovel that you could fit in your purse I'm sure you would have 1 or 2 of them around which would be big enough to fit it in. Then there you go should you run into stupidity you will be equipped to deal with them. I could send you one for your BDay

  7. Ha I am guilty of so many of these D: Especially buying highheels, but now i will use them for outfits post and make people think I pranced around all day even thought I will really switch to some fat duck shoe.

    p.s. I got 2 winner comments today...possible 12 year old...and...jeses D: <--im leaving that typo

  8. I like your short hair. Did you get the teeth at the same time?