What
do Weight Watchers and Madonna have in common? Both are over 50 and
are in great shape.
michael lauglin photo |
christof stache photo |
Both come from humble beginnings. Both are highly
successful businesses. Both must continually reinvent themselves in
order to remain fresh and relevant.
While
I’ve been on Weight Watchers 3 times (and I’ve only met one
person who was on Madonna once), I gained 5 pounds each time. My
friend gained an excellent party ice-breaker topic. Granted I gained
weight because I didn’t follow the plan. It’s pretty sensible
stuff. Healthy diet. Portion control. Moderate exercise. Nothing new
here. Yet they come out with a new system every year! Calories, then
points, then flex points. Soon it will be buttons.
I’ll
bet Madonna is hungry, too. And instead of points of flexpoints or
what have you, each year Madonna is New and Improved! Now with more
Sinew. Next year it will be, Less Music, More Nipples.
new single cover. seriously? |
Every
January Weight Watchers has to be New Improved Fresh Shiny. With
every new album, Madonna has to be sexier and more grizzly looking.
But really, it’s the same old thing, isn’t it? What they really
should do is jazz up the supports components of the program, which
is, after all, really what makes Weight Watchers work, and what makes
Weight Watchers so much money. Anyone can buy a diet book and be done
with it. But it’s those meetings, those weekly talks and visits and
the accountability (complete with victory dances or shame slumps)
that makes the program a lasting affair. It’s why AA works for so
many people. And church.
And
Madonna should have a nice big sandwich. Looking the way she does at
50-something.... it’s just creepy. Don’t get me wrong. People
need to eat right and exercise. But if I had to choose between
looking like Madonna and being 10 pounds overweight... well, call me
fatty and pass the stretch pants. I shouldn’t be critical because
Madonna might very well say to me, “Ellen Reid, you should just not
eat a sandwich and maybe get some exercise”, and she’d be quite
right. But, in my humble opinion, in terms of aging, me thinks the
lady doth protest too much.
I
mean, what the hell will happen to her psyche when she can no longer
hold herself together with bits of plastic and fishnet stockings and
Kabala bracelets? Or is she still in to that? Can’t keep up. Stop,
Madonna. Before you have your name used as a DSM diagnosis.
As
this is a Foodie Friday, let’s talk about the food on Weight
Watchers first, shall we?
Everyone
has seen these things on the Internets, right? If not, here they are
for your trip down diet memory lane:
My
mom has made her Weight Watcher’s Soup ever since I can remember.
She’s been very successful with the program. I think I probably
went straight from breast milk to Weight watcher’s soup. And then
off to Cheerios and then Vector. And then crack cocaine. So really,
breast milk is a slippery slope, isn’t it?
The
thing about the soup is that you could, according to the WW plan,
have as much as you wanted. Weight Watchers clearly had not met with
me and my appetite. When I was younger, mom made this soup, as per
the recipe, with cabbage. I wasn’t having any of it. Later, mom
capitulated and replaced the cabbage with more friendly vegetables
like sugar snap peas. Anyway, blah bah blah. Here’s the recipe.
_____________________________________________________________
Weight Watchers Garden Vegetable Soup, as made by Mickey "Gangsta Librarian" Reid
2/3 C slice carrots
1/2 C diced onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
3 C broth (Chicken or vegetable)
1and 1/2 C diced cabbage (or omit and use larger amounts of other veggies)
1/2 Cdiced celery
1 T tomato paste
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tspdried oregano
1/4 tsp salt
1 red pepper chopped
1/2 C sugar snap peas
1/2 C diced zucchini
1/2 C frozen green beans
1 C chopped mushrooms
1/2 C frozen peas (optional)
1 can diced tomatoes (optional)
1 large can mixed beans (optional, 1 can adds 8 points to the recipe overall)
1. In a large saucepan sprayed with non-stick cooking spray, saute the carrot, onions and garlic over low heat until softened - about 5 minutes
2.Ad broth, cabbage (if using), celery, red pepper, sugar snap peas, green beans (if using fresh), tomato paste, herbs and salt. Bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer, covered, for 15 minutes, or until vegetables are tender.
3. Stir in zucchini, tomatoes, frozen peas (if using) and mushrooms nad heat 3-4 minutes.
4. Serve hot.
* If using canned broth you might want to add a little extra water with some dried boullion powder if you need more liquid.
Per serving: 42 calories; 0g total fat; 0mg cholesterol; 63 g sodium (if using low sodium broth); 8 g carbs; 2.4 g fibre; 3 g protein; 41 g calcium
0 POINTS
________________________________________________________________
On my most recent visit to see my Mom, she made a big batch of the soup using vegetable broth, to accommodate my recent adoption of a vegan diet. Isn’t she swell? I probably could even handle cabbage in it now, although I doubt anyone else would be able to handle the implications of feeding cabbage to me.
And
just like the soup, you can have as much Madonna as you want, all day
long. If she makes you dance, you can probably earn a few WW points.
Take it from a guy, Madonna looks disgusting. Not a single thing about a walking dehydrated mummy that does it for me. Sorry.
ReplyDeletetotally agree
DeleteWell, this was a post worth waiting for (missing the Mon-Wed-Fri schedule). You funny girl.
ReplyDeleteOMG, just found you and I think I'm in love (with you and your writing, not creepy 50-yr-old biceps woman Madonna).
ReplyDeleteWill be back to read more!!!!
best,
MOV