Ok so, because it’s me, it has to be a little more complicated than it normally would.
When I announced the contest, I should have delineated the format that the haiku should take. Classic Japanese haiku have a format of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first, 7 in the second and five in the last. There are, I understand, modern interpretations of haiku which allow for a more free-form structure. Because I did not specify that the haiku was to be in a particular format, I have chosen 2 winners, one in the regular format, the other in an alternative format.
All the entries were super freakin’ awesome and you all are winners in my heart, by which I mean my bum.
Winner of the classic format Insult Ted Nugent haiku is:
Ted Nugent agrees –
A sure sign your idea
Is far too simple
By Craig Woods.
His entry, simple and straightforward. Also brings to mind that there is no use arguing with someone like Ted Nugent because he would not listen to the other side of the argument, but would offer a retort such as I would hear in the hallways of my high school: “Yah, but you’re an asshole”.
Winner of the Free Form Insult Ted Nugent Haiku is:
Cat scratch fever, feel no pain
Not so deer you shot
With bad aim
By Elizabeth B.
I like it because it is sweet and uses the word “aim” with a double meaning. Plus it rhymes
Well done, Elizabeth.
Thank you to all who entered. I enjoy having smart people around me. You are the smartipantsest.
There will be future contests, where people can win stuff. Like random objects from around my home, or bits of string. Or my dog.