Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Guilty Pleasures

Guilty Pleasures. We've all got them. It's the season for indulging in all the crap that we normally wouldn't admit that we like. If anyone makes fun of you, you can just say "But it's Christmas", or "Only once a year" or "I was super drunk".

I have many guilty pleasures because the things I like are generally kind of tacky. My friends are all pretty style-y and classy-tastic, so I try to keep my shameful fondness for horrific twee and  ostentation in check around them
So deep breath here we go. I know you'll forgive me. I guess. Maybe.
- Pier One Imports. I like Pier One Imports. So sue me. I like shiny stuff and if you are in the market for shiny stuff, which I always, always am, you can be sure you’re going to find it at Pier One Imports. I go there all the time and never buy anything because I can’t seem to justify spending all that money on -  let’s be honest - crap. Pier One Imports is to home accessories what Forever 21 is to fashion: you feel kind of like trash when you go in, but dammit, it just feels sooooo gooood.
I went into Pier One today to get some shiny crap with which to decorate the house for the few social gatherings I am hosting over the next couple of weeks. No one who will be coming will care whether my house is like the Swisshorn Gold Palace Hotel in Hong Kong.
Swisshorn Gold Palace Hotel in Hong Kong

I would totally live in this place.

But I will. I really, really will. Thank you Pier One Imports for allowing me to decorate my home like a whore.

Breakfast nook. Too much?

- Fruit Jellies from Laura Secord.

The candy for old ladies who think they’re classy, but really aren’t. Also, a good candy for people with no teeth. I have teeth. For now.
- The Babys. No, not human babies. The band, The Babys from the 1970s that had a few albums of totally digestible pop music lead by John Waite who later went solo and churned out solo digestible pop. I will always sing along to The Babys. Loudly.

The guy in the lower left corner. Yah. I know. I would, too.

- Keanu Reeves. Just shut up.

- Videos with talking animals. Or dancing baby animals.

- Premium Plus salted top crackers.

I have eaten two rows as a meal on more than one occasion. That’s about 800 calories. Of crackers. Yes. I know.

- White french bulldogs. They look like grunty little pigs on leashes.

If you don't like this, you are a sociopath.

- Lady Stores where they sell home accents and bits and bobs. Like Pier One, but not so trashy - more Shabby Chic. Everything is painted white and there are always chandeliers and crystal handles for those refinishing projects I am too lazy and incompetent to undertake.

anthropologie. Weird, man repelling clothes. Weird decorating for women destined to be Old Maids. I think it'd be worth it.

Only ladies need apply

Mmm, I can feel the twee.

Chatelet, in Toronto

- Marshmallows.

Ok. 'Fess up. What are yours? Come on. I showed you mine.


  1. Oh man! Do we have similar taste! I love Anthropologie and do like Pier One too. I like my marshmallows toasted over a fire and in Mallow Cups. French bulldogs and Boston Terriers are adorable. LOVED the Babys, Isn't it Time. I also love all things kitchy vintage, like from 1900-1930, especially photos from that era. The BBC Animals to me are the very BEST of youtube. Thank you for turning me on to them. :)

    I also love all things Vanilla. Soap, lotion, cologne. Mixed with Shalimar or Patchouli even better. I love Vanilla lattes, iced, and hot Chai lattes. I love seafood of all kinds and Thanksgiving is one of my favorite menus of the year.

    I miss my landline phone and my big art studio in the city. I love that I live on the lake with lots of nature all around, but that cool city stuff is just 10 minutes away.

  2. Lisa Wells said...

    Ditto on Pier One, but I've never actually bought anything from there. Uhmmmm...I would have to say canned Corned Beef Hash (thanks Dad), and rummaging through others peoples' stuff at Estate Sales. I also love Buddy Holly and the smell of fresh cut grass. I'm not just outside watching my neighbor's cut their grass. That would be weird. My greatest guilty pleasure would have to be hanging out at Barnes and Noble, alone, with my Starbucks venti bold brew, and my mind wide open. Oh, and as per Juni's husband will have to pry my landline phone out of my cold, dead hands. This is an ongoing battle. Cell phones, to me, are NOT a pleasure.

  3. Sour gummie worms, germnan chocolate cake and most of all Feta and Pepperoni pizza (must be eaten daily) And no i do not gain an oz lucky me

  4. i'm confused. at the risk of splitting hairs, these do not sound like guilty pleasures to me - they sound like genuine pleasures. guilty pleasures would be admiring Hitler or squeezing blackheads or eating chalk. c'mon, el - get down and dirty with us! tell us your REAL guilty pleasures! (my guilty pleasure is cleaning my hairbrushes...)

  5. Yeah, nice try, Elpoo. "Oooh, I like shiny stuff". You're just so cute and innocent. In Germany [Yes, Berlin Person again] everybody likes that swedish furniture manufacturer I'm sure you know of. At least everybody I know. And it's not a guilty pleasure, it's just bad taste. It's all mass-produced, nothing is authentic and everyone winds up having the same stuff. But who cares? Like you said, it's a little trashy, but dammit, it just feels soooo gooood. Speaking of feeling good, my guiltiest of pleasures, and I'm being bloody honest with you now, would be porn. That's right! Not any dirty stuff, though, and nothing cheap, or who knows what some people out there may or may not like. But just gorgeous guys [Oh right, I was talking about gay porn] doing it, and their hot, sweaty, writhing bodies... well, I think you know what I mean. And no, it's not a substitute for anything. I do have sex. Couple of times a week, actually, and I'm up for being experimental. Anything good and healthy, you know? But sometimes I love just having a really good time by myself. Still I feel guilty for it because basically I don't share, and then you have that bad reputation of the porn industry and what not. Now that, my friend, is a guilty pleasure.

  6. ABBA! I like their music since they won the Eurovision songcontest back in 1974. Soooooooo not done for a boy. But when I got older a really listen to their music, I realised it so well made and composed, it is no guilty pleasure anymore.
    That I did love Frida still is...

  7. Anonymous, it's ok to like gay porn. Nothing to feel guilty about. Come ON, you're German, there has to be SOMETHING that you like that's awful? Like, maybe ham with powdered sugar on it? Or wearing lederhosen around the house, just 'cause it feels good? You can do better than porn. I mean, who doesn't love gay porn?

    Marcel, you've got nothing to be guilty of, your love, could climb any mountain, near or far, you are, one in a million. You WOULD be guilty if you liked the song that I just quoted.

    Hairbrush fetish Anonymous, I love cleaning the goo out of my dogs' eyes. Is that better?

    Kathryn. Take your speedy metabolism and normal sized feet outta here! :-)

    Lisa and Juni. Why would you get rid of your land line? Cell phones are for pre-teens and douchie businessmen. I have one, but I only use it to text Ryan as to where in the mall he should meet me.

  8. Oh, please don't call me "Anonymous", especially since I confessed to you that you're my first - when it comes to "blogging" or whatever you call it. That was in November when you talked about your fascination with miniature objects. Well, to avoid further estrangement I created a profile. Yes, No, I can't believe it either. So, it's Berlin Person aka Norman aka HeSaysMurder

    Thank you for your vote of confidence on the gay porn thing. I'm glad I brought it up.

  9. Oh Berlin Murder Gay Porn Addict, I love you.

  10. I had to get rid of the landline because of budget issues. gah. I miss it.

    True guilty pleasures? hmmm...watching surgery and autopsy stuff on youtube. John Denver, saw him live three times.

  11. Nothing wrong with John Denver Juni! Great to dream away with!

    Ehmmm, so, not guilty then Elpoo!
    However, Frida is still a beautiful woman (and I'm married)