There’s nothing like a good night’s sleep followed by an excellent poop that makes you feel gratitude shimmer through your veins.
I don’t want to go all Oprah on you, but I’d like to offer up a list of just a fraction of the things that I love and for which I am grateful. It is not exhaustive, at all!
To make it a less obvious vomit of narcissistic glee, let’s do it in alphabet form!
A: Arrested Development. Movie is in the works (they actually made a statement about it, so it’s GOT to happen for sure, right?)
B: Brian: Good looking, patient, hilarious, smartiepants, undemanding, sexy, gassy.
D: Downton Abbey. Don’t get me started. Future entire blog posts will be devoted to this show. If you haven’t seen it yet, find it, watch both seasons (plus the Christmas bonus episode) and let’s talk.
E: E-Books. I still like regular books, but there’s something magic about wanting a book and being able to have it in seconds. There’s also something potentially financially disastrous about it, too.
F: Fiona. My cat is effing awesome
G: Geico ads. Like these:
H: My House. It keeps me from being homeless.
I: Intellectuals. I love listening to smart people talk. I don’t usually contribute much to those conversations much, but I’m highly entertained by them. Graham could discuss topics ranging from Keats to Buffy. And then tie them together at the end. Kevin explained to me once why old flower water smells so bad. And then he wrote a couple best sellers. My friend Lisa used to explain art to me. Her brain is so big, she has a wagon that she pulls behind her with her head on it.
J. Jam. It’s tasty.
K: My Kitchen. It’s full of stuff.
L: Librarians. They know stuff.
M: Mornings. I like the quiet.
N: Nina. Saves my life 5 days a week.
O: Orangutan. Orange ones.
P: Puppets. I’d communicate with people better if we could do it through puppets and funny voices.
Q: Qi. Best, most convenient scrabble word ever.
R: Ryan. Because he rocks. I also like regularity.
S: Stitching. Stitching is super.
T: Television. Obviously.
U: Underwear. It’s keeps me from being a whore.
W: Warmness. I like being warm.
X: X-rays, I guess. I mean, not much to choose from. Xylophones are fine, but I’m not, like, grateful for them. I mean, when was the last time a xylophone found a cancerous tumor early and saved a life. Stupid xylophones. Never thinking of anyone but themselves.
Y: Yoka. I spend all of my money there. All of it. They see me coming and they immediately call their investment advisors: “She’s coming in, Dennis, what looks good today?”