Respite

I’ve said countless times here that I do not manage stress well. Thank you, Crazy Doctor, for giving me the phrase “low tolerance for frustration”, because it sounds so much better than “suckie”. 

I don’t like loud noises or relentless annoyances. 

So why did I get a sheltie?

Because I am super stupid, that’s why.

I love Gracie, I really do. She can be very sweet and cute. And I know that most of the problems I have with her stem from my own deficiencies as a dog mommy. I’ve spoiled her because I’ve been too lazy to train her consistently and I fail to remember that she’s a dog and that she’s not driving me crazy on purpose.

She is, however, still driving me crazy.

That is why I’ve asked my Sainted Dog Walker, Nina, to take Gracie for a week. A week of respite. A week of sleeping in until 6am. A week of not having to run through a list of potential items that Gracie might want several times before she stops whining long enough to indicate that yes THAT is what she wants. A week of not yelling “shut up shut up shut up”.

There are only two potential problems with my plan. One: I will feel terribly guilty, or; Two: I will really like it, and will move away without telling Nina so she is forced to keep Barkerella and I am free free free.

Gracie will be 10 in June. I admit to asking Brian “when will she die?” on more than one occasion. 

I know, I know. That DOES make me a bad mother. I am a bad person who doesn’t deserve to live.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way, will someone please take my dog? 

If it wasn’t for the crushing guilt and shame I’d feel, she’d be living at Aunt Nina’s permanently. But this week of respite is a good option for now. It gives me a week to catch up on some sleep and, as Brian says, will hit the “reset” button on Gracie as she’ll be in the care of someone who actually knows something about dogs and is under the illusion that Gracie is quiet as a mouse. 

Looks cute, but can kill you with annoyingness.

Right.


The only downside to this week off is that I'll have to be more vigilant about monitoring Sam's activity. Gracie is our little Hall Monitor Tattle Tale and barks like she's on fire every time Sam even thinks about doing something naughty. So sometimes I can leave the room and just think - it's ok, Gracie will tell me if Sam's up to no good. Unfortunately, she'll tell me if he simply shifts position, and she'll continue to tell me about it, loudly, for some time afterward.

So as I celebrate my Gracie-Free week, do not judge me too harshly. Or go ahead and condemn me. I won’t notice. I’ll be too busy moving freely from room to room without incessant barking accompaniment and sleeping undisturbed to care.

Thank you Nina. Thank you.