Thursday, 5 May 2011

Fashion Jesus.

Why is it that so many male models look like derelicts these days? They’re all bearded and scruffy and dressed in tatters and depressed looking. Is it so that the men look more like Jesus? I mean, why would clothing companies want Jesus to endorse their products? He’s never seen anywhere hip these days, other than, say, his image in burnt toast, so it’s not like he’s cool or anything outside of the walking on water business. And walking on water doesn’t mean he never actually got IN the water and had a bath. Jesus was clean, so male models should be clean, too.

You shouldn’t use Unwashed Jesus or Unwashed Jesus-like people to sell things. I wouldn’t buy anything from Unwashed Jesus. He’s totally against all that selling and making money stuff, so how could I trust him? And if it’s a “sex sells” thing, as it almost always is, FYI, NO ONE wants to have sex with Jesus. At least no one normal who wouldn’t fear getting in trouble with his dad. I mean, he was kinda cute and everything, at least from what I remember from Sunday School, but it would be, I don’t know, kind of creepy.

 You couldn’t even date him and then breakup with him cause he’d just keep telling you that you “do not know what you doth do”, and showing up on your doorstep 3 days later. It would be pretty cool to date a guy who can fly, though. Might be handy on the 401 at rush hour.

But anyway, back to the scruffy models.

I thought we’d gotten the unwashed look out of our systems in the early 90’s. After we’d got it out of our system in the 70’s. Ah, I see, it’s just making a “come back”. Oh goody. Otherwise gorgeous men with facial hair they can hide small appliances in, selling clothes to hipsters everywhere.

This one  below looks clean, but also scary, mean and just well dressed enough to look like he's showing up for his day in court.
This is the Man, French Connection? Do you mean, the man who has be stalking celebrities?

Call me boring, middle class and narrow minded (but colour me fabulous), but I wouldn’t touch anything  THIS MAN  had worn, let alone buy it. I’m all for showing how beauty comes in many forms, but I fear this is the brand’s stab at self-sabotage.

I wouldn't even buy drugs from this one.

 I know I’ll get a lot of flack about this. Some people really dig the beard. Well, too bad. There is only one "good beard" out there

His beard can do no wrong.

and otherwise, I'm not into them. So if you take issue with this, get your own beard-y blog. This is MY blog and it is fully endorsed by Jesus.


  1. What a brilliant mind!!! Love this one :-)

  2. We just want to be saved, Elpoo. Saved by fashion.