Monday, 2 July 2012

July 2, 2012

I learned a valuable life lesson about eating a salad that was already 3 days old and then left in the car trunk for 4 hours on a blisteringly hot day. 

And there wasn't even any mayo in it. Just a lot of other stuff that was well past its prime, I suppose.

Anyway, spent all of Saturday night screaming in to a bucket - I think I've mentioned to you that I am not a delicate vomiter. I scream like hell and then cry. 

Brian slept through most of the ordeal which makes me concerned that he'd not notice if someone came into our room and bludgeoned me twenty times with a butchers knife. 

He'd notice when there was no supper that night. "Hmm, I'm hungry, wonder where the wife got to".

I spent all of yesterday sipping ginger ale and Gatorade, going back and forth between couch and bed. Brian offered to go and get me more ginger ale, and then added that he wanted to get himself some chips, admitting that the ginger ale was an after thought. I was so grateful for the ginger ale that I didn't slap him. Soon my strength will be regained and I can give him a good cuff. He will have to idea why I cuffed him. But I will. I will.

Feeling mostly better today, other than a caffeine withdrawal headache. But I am remedying this with a small pot of coffee with a ratio of decaf and regular, 3:4. 

Anyway, all of this food poisoning business made it impossible for me to comment on the biggest news of the century - Katie and Tom are splitting up.

I am so happy about this. I know I shouldn't hope for something like this, the breakup of a family, for anyone, but these people are celebrities, not real people, so it's more like cheering for a soap star that finally slaps Victor Newman in the face and says "Damn you, Victor, I won't take it any more, do you hear me?" Yah, in your face, Victor, some of your own spat back at ya! 

So Katie is filing for full custody in the hopes she can keep that darling child out of Scientology, the religion that came to us in a spaceship and keeps its members happy through extortion and intimidation. 

Guess whose side I'm on. 

While I am too weak to write further on the subject at this time, rest assured that I will be monitoring this story very closely. 

And Katie, if you need a place to stay, we've got your room all made up. And I promise not to say "I told you so". 


  1. Yes, Victor deserves a cuff for all those changes of heart that have wreaked havoc in so many soapy lives.

    I'll send some nice decor for Katie's room.

  2. Katie is over at Oprah's right now and jumping up and down on her couch. It's all good.

  3. I'm so glad Katie quit her job as Tom Cruise's incubator. Looks like it was settled pretty quickly too.