Monday, 9 July 2012

Summer Lovin'. And Hatin'.

Ah, Summer. We've dreamed of you since the last Christmas present was opened, we've paid exorbitant amounts of cash to get a reasonable facsimile of you at far flung locals for a week in February, we've bought expensive clothes for you in March and forgot about them until August when they've gone on sale in the stores leaving us resentful and ashamed.

Summer is easy and breezy.

In summer you can sit on a patio and enjoy a frosty beverage while watching the world go by - the world that is jealous because you are sitting on the patio.

The reality of patio sitting is that someone (read: Me) always has to sit in the full sun so ends up looking like dead cooked lobster who can't see anything because she's blinded by the unrelenting rays of an uncaring star.

In summer you can wear sweet summer dresses. No more heavy layers.

Summer means everyone can see how fat your arms have got since last year. And  you have to shave your legs, like four times a day. Am I right? I mean, we all need to shave our legs four times a day, right?

Summer means sunshine!

Summer means sunscreen, which means piling on the SPF 30 with makes you look more pale and zinc-y and oatmeal coloured that you do all winter in you attempt to keep from getting skin cancer.

Summer means days at the beach.

Summer means days at the beach.

Oh, I'm not really all that resentful of longer, warmer days. I'll miss you summer, in January. But right now, I'm already thinking about fall. That's right. I said it out loud. Fall.

1 comment:

  1. I liked summer until I read this and now I hate it. Go away summer. I, like Ellen, will have skewed memories of you come January and at that time I will love you. For now, you suck. Thank you, Ellen, for your blatant honesty. The sand comment hit me particularly hard. Sod off, summer, I mean it.