Tuesday Tantrum - Bathroom Cleaner

I clean my bathroom for only three reasons:


1. I am having guests


2. The leg hair has accumulated to the point where I can draw my finger through it and make a distinct happy face.

3. It smells like ass in there.




So when I do finally decide to invest the 10 minutes it takes to clean up the mess, I want a bathroom cleaner that works and leaves my Pooping Palace smelling shiny and fresh.


I've tried a number of bathroom cleaners and I have yet to find one that I could endorse as a former small "c" celebrity who has fallen that far and was never famous enough to have her own infomercial about a waffle iron (Vickie Lawrence, I'm talking about YOU).


Brian uses Scrubbing Bubbles, which to me smells like a haunted hospital, and not in a good way.

 He swears by it (he cleans his own private bathroom where he makes shameful things). I have tried but to me the only way I can describe the smell, is the smell of frustration: Not quite clean enough.


Vim has such a jaunty name, but let's be honest, it's just really cheap skin moisturizer. 

Cleaners should not be in a cream form. It will not cut through grease and leg hair and dog skid marks. And it, too, smells like failure.


In an effort to be eco-friendly I recently tried a product called Mrs. Meyers Lavender Bathroom Cleaner. 

This stuff literally made me hack. For several hours. The stuff is seriously toxic. I did an google search and I am not alone in this experience. How can something that purports to be eco-friendly cause such a severe reaction? The smell lingers and even if I was in the next room, I would cough from it. It did clean well, I'll give it that, which makes me wonder even further about its claims of being environmentally friendly. Maybe they added extra coughing extract.


Mr Clean is the smell I'm looking for and does the job, but it's not going to save the dolphins.


Vinegar might clean fine, but it smells like, well, vinegar, and isn't that the smell we're trying to cover up. I mean everyone's urine smells like vinegar, right? And asparagus.


So my search will continue. Any tips are welcome. Has to smell good and clean well and not kill dolphins.

I'm still looking for you Mr. Goodcleansmellsaveplanetbar. But until then, I am NOT going to clean the bathroom. It's a matter of principle.