I love coffee. So very much I love that darned coffee beverage.
Sometimes, if I can’t sleep at night, I think about the first cup of coffee I’ll be having in the morning and it makes me feel calm and happy.
I didn’t start drinking coffee until university and I put lots of milk and sugar in it. It was kind of like the gateway.
Once, I was out late with this guy I really really liked and I drank so much coffee that I actually felt drunk. Has that ever happened to you? Or was I just a weirdo? I know, why can’t it be both.
I’ve drunk so much coffee that I’ve given myself a bladder infection. I remember because I noticed something was wrong while at The Keg. The Keg is not responsible for my bladder infection. But they are responsible for their horrible, horrible ads. Who writes those songs? I have issues with them. Their ads cause urinary tract infections. It is a science fact.
If I don’t drink coffee by mid morning, I get a migraine. I’ve thrown up from coffee withdrawal before.
Coffee is the only reason I am not known as Ellen -the Molasses Woman.
I am telling you that I am addicted to the stuff. Are you getting that yet?
I CAN NOT FUNCTION WITHOUT THE DEVIL’S BEAN.
I am not a coffee snob. I mean, at all. But I don’t like Tim Horton’s or Coffee Time. In this I am more of a humanity snob. But I’ll drink their swill it if it’s the only thing available. Desperate times and all.
I like flavored coffee and have consumed hazelnut cream coffee pretty much every day for 20 years. If that makes me a coffee slut, then colour me whorish.
But if I wanna get fancy about coffee, I go to Bulldog Coffee on Granby Street in Toronto.
I like meeting my friend Ryan at Bulldog. It’s our time to catch up, reconnect and talk about our friends and the stupid stuff they do. God.
|Ryan, thinking up something hilarious and cruel to say about our friends.|
Bulldog owner Stuart Ross makes the best lattes ever. And with pretty art on top and all that stuff. He’s won all sorts of awards for Best Barista (that’s coffee maestro, not some British lawyer).
|Ross at work.|
|Swan art photo by Haksuti Makata|
|Ross's masterpiece, photo by Jesse Milns|
The beans are a special blend from Central America, South America and Africa, specially roasted for Bulldog with a unique dark chocolate finish . Sweet treats are made by Ross and Geoff and the whole darn staff, and are not for the feint of heart.
|That's right. I know the owner enough to get a hug.|
|cranberry chocolate heart attack pie.|
|In France this is called bread. In Toronto, we call it delicious.|
|chocolate dipped cake pops. Uh Muh Gud!!|
|white chocolate coated red velvet truffles.|
I am not feint of heart. I’d mainline those blueberry scones if I could.
(Geoff was voted Miss Gay Toronto 2011 which is irrelevant to the whole coffee aspect of this blog, but is an interesting fact. Not a science fact. But a fact.)
There is a vast array of espresso based delights with which you may get your buzz on.
|Ryan's Bulldog Latte|
|Bavarian Chocolate Latte|
My choice is the single shot latte, because by the time I get down there I’m already so jacked up on caffeine that if I have a regular latte I’ll be sent spinning into the streets. And not in an attractive way.
The original location is at 89 Granby St, just south of College off of Church St. in beloved Boystown. Hang out with writers, artists, and your new gay best friend. There is now a second location at 55 Eglinton Ave E.
Here, you can go to meet your future business-man husband.
See you there. You’ll know it’s me because I’ll be posing with a latte. As one does.
|This position in awkward and uncomfortable, but makes me look interesting. In a "I've twisted my body in a horrible accident" kind of way.|
|This latte compliments my ennui perfectly.|